What happens when Galbatorix gets drunk?
by EragonandTheDoctorrock
Summary: Galbatorix goes to Ellesmera, and captures it, while taking barrels upon barrels of Faelnivr. This story was inspired by "The Faelnivr fiasco of Ellesmera by 'dreamydaydreamer' which is probably the funniest story ever.
1. Chapter 1: The Take over

**Hey guys this is my first fanfic ever, my first time writing something for fun ever actually, but please don't hate, there might be some random new lines because i did this in notepad, since i dont have word on this computer yet, but i try to keep the grammar correct and please give me some reviews. tell me how you like it. i do some switching viewpoints later, but please don't hate!**

There is a dimly lit room, a table, and a single map. There are two men; one with dark black hair, and one with bright red hair, both standing over the table. The man with black hair has a voice that is extremely pleasant to hear. "The elves have left Du Weldenvarden. They have taken nearly their whole population. All we need is to send one man, or shade, into the city of Ellesmera to capture it. I can get you up to the border, but after that you're on your own. their defenses will be weak, so all you must do is land here," he points to a heavily forested area on the map, with runes that translate to 'Ellesmera', "and cross the border, and then take the city."

The man who had just spoken stands up to look around the room, after two hours of thinking of - and discarding - ideas for defeating the army, the Varden, at his doorstep. There is a high ceiling with tall, intricate columns, designed to look like tree trunks. At the ceiling they fan out into leaves. There is a large throne, twelve feet high, with a big, plump cushion to make it more comfortable to sit on. It is obviously elvish architecture, as the throne is made to like a wave and the floor like grass. Only the elves would feel this need to give a natural feel to the throne room.

"My Lord Galbatorix, I feel that you would be more suited to this task, as I am merely a shade." This time it was the other man who spoke.

To which Galbotorix replies, "I thank you for your modesty Durza, but nay, I cannot leave the castle. If that should ever happen, Eragon will just come in and take the city. However, I could leave Murtagh and Thorn to guard the city. Yes, thank you Durza. You may now go and fetch Murtagh."

The shade Durza walks through the archway, with the trickling water on the sides. Three minutes later, Murtagh comes in, using the smaller servants entrance.  
"what do you require my lord?" Asks Murtagh  
"I need you to watch Uru'Baen for me, while I go to Ellesmera."  
"Why not send me to Ellesmera, my lord?"

"Because you are needed here, to keep up appearances. If you just disappear Eragon might come and challenge me. And I do not wish to be challenged."  
"Of course my lord. However, off-topic, why do you call your new shade Durza? Eragon already killed Durza."  
"Because Durza was a much better slave then any other I have had. Now do not disobey me and go back outside. I will leave you 20 eldunari, which should be enough to  
hold off Eragon."  
"Of course my lord."  
Murtagh started to walk back out through the servants entrance when Galbatorix says "And Murtagh?" "Yes my lord?" "If I come back to find the Varden in control of Uru'Baen..." there was a pause until Murtagh said "Yes my lord?" "You are dead."  
That sentence gave Murtagh the shivers, as they were talking in the ancient language, in which you cannot lie. "Alright my lord." Murtagh then hurried out of the room

Murtagh and Galbatorix were standing in a field, along with a huge, thirty foot tall pile of eldunari. The grass was gone, and in it's place were loivessa's, a nice purple flower, that only grows in the Empire.  
"All of the preparations are complete, my lord."  
"Thank you Murtagh, now remember the plan: First you teleport me. Than, when the eldunari have recovered enough, you teleport the first eldunari. Then-"  
"Yes, yes, when they have recovered enough teleport the next, and the next, and the next, etc. etc. etc."  
"I see you can still talk back, I shall have to change that. Anyways, ON TO THE TELEPORTATION!"  
"Yes my lord."  
There was a bright flash, and suddenly Galbatorix was standing in a forest, with trees that had thirty foot wide trunks. *Oh Shoot! Murtagh teleported me a few hundred feet to far! he could see the clearing he was supposed to land in, until there was another bright flash, and Galbatorix was lying on the ground, dazed. He looked around to see the grain of wood on a small door that was definetly elven. He noticed three more things at once. One, a small table attached to the wall, with only one chair. Two, a large array of elven weapons, a white great sword, both decorative and deadly; a small black single hand sword, with no decorations; and a large, heavy looking black mace, with deadly spikes. Three, he noticed an elf, tall and muscular, with two more weapons. A bow on his back, and a dagger at his right hip.

"Who are you and why-" The elf was stopped short, as he noticed the features of Galbatorix. "Galbatorix! What are you doing here!?" He asked as he pulled both the mace and the short sword off of the wall, pointing the tip of the sword at Galbatorix's throat, the mace above himself as if he was about to strike.  
All Galbatorix could do was moan, as teleporting twice will take a toll on whoever was teleported. There was another bright flash, and a medium sized, yellow eldunari was teleported into the room. Galbatorix was almost instantly revived, as the dragon whose soul was in the eldunari gave Galbatorix his strength. Galbatorix jumped up, and before even an elf could react, flicked his own sword out of it's scabbard and slit the elf's throat. He jumped back so he wouldn't be sprayed by blood.

"Well that was easy." Galbatorix said, even as another eldunari poped into the room, this one a small blue one. Galbatorix took a better look at the room. It had a low ceiling that wasn't very decorative. There were three large windows, one on each side of the room, most likely there to look out on all sides. *this is probably a guard tower. hmm, the elves weren't as self confident as I thought. It's probably a good thing that I waited untill now to strike at the elves.*  
POP! *hmm, Murtagh is sending these eldunari really fast. If i find that any eldunari are gone, I will tear out his throat.*

Just as he was picking up the three weapons, Galbatorix heard some footsteps.  
"are you okay in there Biror? I felt some magic, and I wanted to check that you didn't do something to stupid again!"  
*hmm,his name was Biror? it's a good thing I killed him.* thought Galbatorix as he prepared to attack another elf. He was surprised as an arrow flew through the door, only to be stopped by his wards. It fell to the ground, with a soft thud, and the other elf burst in, sword doing complex movements, faster than the eye could follow.  
If Galbatorix had no wards, The first swipe would have killed him. Galbatorix just let the strikes be stopped by his wards, never even getting tapped. When he first felt some drain on his strength, he got annoyed.  
"deyja." he said, after exchanging a few blows. The elf crumpled to the ground, dead. Galbatorix would have liked to go right then, but the eldunari had not finished  
arriving yet, so he waited. He pulled up the one chair in the room, waited for four more eldunari, a small silver one, a bright yellow one, and two more he just didn't care about. Galbatorix had waited for twenty minutes, when he suddenly had an idea. Galbatorix worked for sixteen more minutes, untill he found the magic that teleported the eldunari to the room. He worked his way around the spell, and figured out how to undo it. *After all* he thought *This room can't hold all of my eldunari.*  
Galbatorix used the name of the ancient language to hold back the barrier of magic in the little clearing. He then teleported himself, and the six eldunari he had with him to the clearing. As Galbatorix landed in the clearing, dazed again, he noticed 16 more eldunari in the clearing. Three of them were brown, and he almost felt sorry for their riders, because their dragons would have been so ugly. But then he thought about how much fun killing them was, and he decided he was not sorry at all.

Thirty minutes later, he had about 100 eldunari. *Oh why did I have Murtagh send so many?* Galbatorix thought, as he didn't have even a third of the pile yet. Every second would count here, as with each passing second there was a chance of the elves finding out about Galbatorix. Another thirty minutes later Galbatorix thought he had  
about two hundred eldunari, about a third of his pile. Galbatorix eventually got bored, and started casting random wards around himself, just for the fun of it. He had cast some to keep pies from being thrown in his face, some to make the ground turn to gold wherever he stepped, and some to make all the trees look like statues of himself. At last Galbatorix had almost his full pile, after learning from the last eldunari that there were only 6 more, And he got bored of his wards. He looked around to see the clearing completely gold, the trees perfect statues of him, and a few pies on the ground that he used to test his pie wards, along with every other aspect of every other ward he could think of. He turned off his wards, and almost immediately felt better. As the last eldunari popped in, a beautiful black one that looked like death and despair, Galbatorix was starting to think over a spell to shrink them down, so he could put them in his man-purse and carry them with him. Two minutes later he finished the spell, and then shrunk his man-purse into the size of a bracelet. *Finally, I can go now!* he thought very happily.

Galbatorix disbanded the spells in one particular place, only for about ten seconds so the elves wouldn't notice, and walked through, reaching the elven part of Du Weldenvarden in seconds. Within twenty minutes, he came to the first city. It was beautiful. All of the buildings were made out of trees, and among the small houses was a soaring skyscraper, that must have been two hundred stories tall! There were no elves about, as they had all gone to fight in the war, and Galbatorix just walked through the city as though it was his own. He went up to the skyscraper, and ,with the help of magic, graffitied it to say 'Galbatorix was here' and later 'it is now my city.'  
*well that was easy* Galbatorix thought as he was walking away. Just when he was going to get out of the city, he felt a tiny drain on his strength, as an arrow whized by his face, obviously deflected by his wards. He spun around just as another arrow zoomed by. He grabbed an arrow out of the air, and threw it back at the attacker, whose wards deflected it. Galbatorix rushed up to the elf, who he found out was female, and tried to cut out her throat. She was a bit of a better swordswoman then the other elves he killed, but still no match for Galbatorix. He took her out in thirteen strokes.

Thirty minutes later, and six dead elves, Galbatorix was on his way to Ellesmera. It took him three days to reach the city, and he got the directions from the eldunari of an elf's dragon. On the way, Galbatorix noticed that the trees seemed ominous. He decided to look ominous back. When he finally got to Ellesmera, there were more elves there. It took him twelve minutes to dispatch the first elf, and fourty minutes to dispatch the other sixteen elves. He ran to Tialdari hall as fast as he could, destroyed the flower garden, made a flag, and put it on top of Tialdari hall, claiming it as his own.


	2. Chapter 2: Back in Uru'Baen

**Second Chapter, I really don't know how this is going to work here so i need some help from you guys.**

"Okay, where is he? He's been over in Ellesmera for six days now!. Shouldn't he at least contact me once? I mean really, how long does it take to capture an elf city that doesn't even have any elves?!" Murtagh started pacing, as has been his habit in the last three days.  
*Calm down little one. I know you just want this war to be over, but if you want that to happen you must stay -how do you kids say it these days- chill.* Thorn says from his perch on top of the castle. *Besides, why do you even worry about Galbatorix? I mean, he forced me to hatch for you-* Murtagh stopped in his tracks *- found out our true names, bound us to his-*  
*Wait, wait, wait, wait.*  
*yes little one?*  
*he forced you to hatch for me?* Murtagh could not believe Thorn wasn't really his dragon  
*Yes he did. Now as I was saying-*  
*He FORCED you to hatch for me?!*  
*Yes he did-* Thorn replied, getting a little bit annoyed.  
*So you're not even MY DRAGON?!*  
Thorn thought this was getting a little bit dangerous, so he tried to change the subject *Yes I am. Now as I was saying, why are you worried abo-*  
*HOW COULD YOU LIE TO ME! I THOUGHT I WAS SPECIAL! I THOUGHT I FINALLY HAD SOME GOOD LUCK. I THOUGHT I WAS FINALLY GOING TO BE MORE THAN MORZAN'S SON! I WAS GOING TO SHOW EVERYONE HOW DIFFERENT I AM FROM HIM! I WAS-*

*SHUT UP YOU BLOODY LITTLE INSECTS!* roared Shruikan. *I HAVE A MAJOR HANGOVER AND I CANNOT HAVE YOU TWO SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF YOUR MENTAL LUNGS!*

That shut both Thorn and Murtagh up. They knew that Shruikan would not hesitate to kill the two of them, and even with six hundred eldunari, a dragon the size of a mountain would not be stopped at all. Even though they're argument was over though, Murtagh was still seething at the knowledge that his dragon was not HIS dragon.

five minutes later, Murtagh found himself walking on the wall of the city. *I thought I was finally gonna do something good. I thought he was MY dragon. I thought-* He paused, mid-step. * But he IS my dragon. whether he decided to hatch for me or not, he IS MY dragon. I named him, I raised him, he is my dragon, just as a step-dad is a kid's dad, even though they don't share blood!* Murtagh ran to Thorn.  
*Thorn, Thorn!*  
*Yes I am.* replied Thorn, before the question was even asked.  
*How did you know what I was going to ask?* Murtagh inquired.  
*How do you think? I am psychic.*  
*no you're not,*  
*Of course I'm not. Do you want to know?*  
*of course!*  
*How I knew your question. Hmm that's a hard one. Oh wait no it's not. We share a mental link, remember? that's how I'm talking to you right now.*  
*And?*  
*And...* Thorn waited a few seconds to see if Murtagh figured it out. All he felt was confusion though, so he gave up and told him. *We share a mental link. I am always in your head. I. Heard. Your. Thoughts.* Thorn said very slowly.  
*Ohhhhhhhhhh... I'm stupid.*  
*No argument there.*  
*Anyway, you're my dragon right?*  
*I already answered that, but I will answer again. Yes. I will always be your dragon, no matter whether I hatched for you when I was forced to, or when I planned to.*  
*Planned to?*  
*Oh not again.* Murtagh could sense Thorn's annoyance. *Alright Murtagh, I was going to hatch to you anyways, I was just going to wait untill you were safe, and away from Galbatorix. Hopefully even after he was dead.*  
"Yes! I still am somebody!" Murtagh said out loud.  
Thorn gave Murtagh a puff of fire, deflected by his wards, but fire none the less. *Now if you ever think that you are a nobody again, I will leave you and be completely loyal to Galbatorix of my own free will.*That thought scared Murtagh. *Alright.*

Just then, he thought he felt something change inside of him, but he paid no notice to it.

**Just a short chapter to show Murtagh's feelings toward other people.**


End file.
